Rogers and Hammerstein asked a great question in Cinderella, "Do I love you because you are beautiful or are you beautiful because I love you?"
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." In other words, it is a relative and individual evaluation. The Apostle Paul wrote in another context that comparing ourselves among ourselves is not a wise thing to do.
"Beauty is only skin deep." Character trumps outward looks. God had to remind Samuel that humans look on the outside but the LORD sees on the heart.
The truth is that we do see the outward appearance of each other and make certain evaluations.
The truth is that a man is attracted to what he sees.
The wedding night description begins here in chapter 4. They are finally alone for intimacy. Solomon took the lead and repeatedly speaks of her beauty. But more than just a declaration of his love, he detailed what attracts him to her. Eight distinct features are mentioned: her eyes, hair, teeth, lips, mouth, cheeks, neck and breasts.
As his emotions heightened, his focus is not on himself, but her. He compared her to a wonderful, fruit-filled garden. "Locked" (v.12), as a virgin, she welcomed him (v.16). He thoroughly enjoyed making love to her (5:1).
While one's culture, family background and personal preferences guide our likes and dislikes, a woman should always be mindful of her appearance and attractiveness to her husband. For a wife, it is her husband's appreciation that truly counts. Husbands need to take notice and say so.
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