How to respond to a hurting Friend

 Read Job 3. 

Job's faith was strong, but the pain still hurt.  He wondered what happened.  Five times in this chapter he used the word "why".  In summary:

-"I wish I had never been born." (vv.1-10)

-"I wish I had been born dead."  (vv.11-19)

-"I wish I could die now." (vv.20-26) 

How could a man of such faith say these things?

He was confused.  He did everything right and all of this stuff has happened to him.  He was physically tired, emotionally drained, and feeling trapped or "hedged in" (v.23).  Several times he mentioned that at least death would bring rest, an end to trouble, and freedom. 

When his three friends came, they were so appalled by what they saw they sat in silence for a full week.  At least they showed up to be with him in his grief. 

What should a person say and/or do for a hurting friend?

Many churches have trained people in Stephen Ministry.  Their response to "be there" is as an act of love and provides good insights for all of us.

1. Caring.

A friend cares enough for the hurting to be present with them. 

2. Listening.

A friend listens.  Hurting people need to get it all out, to verbalize their feelings and questions, even if their assessment is not quite accurate. 

3. Praying.

A friend intercedes.  They need someone who can pray for them and with them. 

4. Supporting.

A friend discovers what emotional and practical needs there are and endeavors to meet them. 

5. Encouraging.

A friend gives comfort and hope.  It is simply passing on the love, care and comfort "the Father of mercies and God of all comfort" has given to us.  "...who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with which we ourselves are comforted by God." (2 Corinthians 1:4)