Read 1Samuel 20.
An old adage that dates back over 500 years states: "A
friend in need is a friend indeed."
Many can be friendly, but it is in times of personal crises that one
discovers who their true friends are.
David found himself in a life and death crisis. King Saul and all his minions were on a
pursuit to find and kill David. At the
core of his stress, perhaps more than his potential loss of life was the
question, "Why?" In verse 1 he
asked, "What have I done? What is
my guilt? And what is my sin...?"
Every suffering person asks those same questions. "What did I do wrong that this happened
to me? What could I have done
differently? What is my sin that God has
allowed this?" If there has been
some obvious foolish decision or outright sinful behavior, then one can more
easily admit they brought it on themselves.
But, when after self-examination there is no answer, the confusion can
become unbearable. That is when it is
most helpful to have a friend.
Such friends are few and far between. No one has a lot of friendships on this
level. Fortunately for David, God
provided Jonathan. Here are just a few
transferable characteristics of a true friend found in this chapter.
1. A true friend is willing to just listen. (v.1)
A person on the front end of a crisis does not want to hear
platitudes; does not want the subject changed to your story; does not want to
hear a countering view; or your solution.
The first thing they need is someone who will just listen to their
emotions and even to vent their questions without judgment. That does not mean silence but words of
understanding and support are needed.
2. A true friend is available and willing to help. (v.4)
Some real friends may care deeply but due to other
circumstances or commitments simply cannot be available or in a position to
help. In times of deep need, a friend is
needed who can drop what they are doing to serve whatever is required. Jonathan's words, "Whatever you say, I
will do for you," had to be reassuring to David. In verses 5 and 42, this commitment extended
to the needs of their families.
3. A true friend is meeting real needs, not just temporal
ones. (v.14)
The greatest need of anyone is to experience the eternal
love of the LORD. The second is to
experience the faithful love of a friend.
This type of love is best defined in the word commitment. David looked at Jonathan and said, "Show
me the steadfast love of the LORD".
We have the opportunity in such cases to be the hands of Jesus in
demonstrating what true love looks like.
4. A true friend has a plan to help. (vv.18-22)
Without specifics of what to do, the moment will only melt
into a puddle of emotions. There must be
some substance that will genuinely help the one in crisis to take the next
step. It may not be the ultimate
solution, but at least there is movement and progress toward hope.
5. A true friend has your back. (vv.28-34)
Jonathan defended David when he was not there to defend
himself. When others say bad things
about your friend in their absence, what do you do or say? That is a test of true friendship. Standing up for David almost cost Jonathan
his life. Willingness to put one's own
life on the line for another is the highest commitment of a true friend.
6. A true friend is emotionally invested. (v.41)
Sometimes there is nothing left to do but cry together.
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there
is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24)
No comments:
Post a Comment