Read Esther 1.
King Ahasuerus ruled the Medo-Persian empire from India to Ethiopia. In his pride, he wanted to show off his empire, his wealth and his power. After a six-month tour, he threw a seven-day party. In an inebriated condition, he had nothing left to show-off but his wife's beauty. Queen Vashti demonstrated greater character in her unwillingness to be paraded before a bunch of drunken men. Her decision could have cost her life. It did cost her the marriage and her royal position.
The remainder of this chapter deals with how the king could save face in the light of his wife's refusal. The best his advisers could suggest was to model the rule of his own home by putting away his queen and legislating marriage relationships for everyone else. There is no mention of a loving relationship.
God's design in marriage is found in Ephesians 5. Without these elements put into practice, no marriage works or lasts. Oh, the couple may continue to live under the same roof, but the true enjoyment of the relationship is found only in how the One instituted marriage intended it to be. Violation of these elements will not only ruin the marriage, but it will also bring hurt. That hurt is often at the root of so-called alternative lifestyles.
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." (Ephesians 5:25)
It is the husband's responsibility and privilege to demonstrate sacrificial love to his wife and, in doing so, model Christ's love for His people.
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22)
To those women who have been hurt or have their own agendas, this is verse is not received well. As a result, they won't have a lasting, loving marriage. Often, they will bounce from one relationship to another. I have never met a woman who would not gladly submit to the leadership of a man who would love her as Christ does.
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